SUE's Holiday Gift Guide
When you’re 67 million years old, winter hits the bones different. I can feel the chill approaching in all 250 of my fossils (including my little wishbone) weeks before the first snowflake falls. And I hate it.
I’ve lived above ground in the Midwest since 1990, and every single day is colder than my life during the Cretaceous. I can hear you questioning now: But SUE, you were unearthed on August 12 in South Dakota—it’s like 80 degrees there.
You know what’s cold? NOT HAVING ANY FLESH. NOT LIVING DURING A PERIOD WHEN THE PLANET WAS ICE-FREE AND FORESTS EXTENDED TO THE POLES.
The other reason I loathe the coming winter is the holidays. It would be easy to stereotype one of the world’s most deadly predators as a scrooge. Listen, I like the decorating and singing and festive guests coming to visit me. And the eating. OH HOW I LOVE THE EATING.
My problem with the holidays is the gift-giving. Particularly, how few I receive. So in the interest of benefiting from the change I wish to see, I’ve compiled this (UPDATED!) gift guide to assist you in your holiday shopping. (don’t get used to this seasonally-inspired altruism, mammals: the Theropod Revolution shall resume in 2023).
SUE's Very Own Personally Recommended Gifts
And if none of these float your boat, you can always make a gift to the Museum in my name. They do, after all, keep the heat on in my suite.
SUE the T. rex
Gifts for the small humans in your life
Keep the dino facts coming
Give a child a dinosaur toy and the kid will love it. Give a child a book about dinosaurs, and they will learn every dinosaur, then come to the Museum and correct you and all other adults when incorrectly identifying the fossils, and I will love it. Please buy your kids more dinosaur books. It brings me so much joy watching kids flex on adults.
Toys for the still-teething
I have a fierce reputation to uphold, but: there is nothing cuter than a toddler in tiny T. rex. Socks cracking open dino eggs. Now excuse me, while I wash my mouth out with soap.
An alternative to digging for fossils in the backyard
An alternative to digging for fossils in the backyard This is for those little dino lovers that are also doers. If you know one of those children that’s asking a million questions when they come to see me, this educational sets are for them.
If these small gestures warm my (missing) heart, imagine how your pint-sized paleontologist will feel when they open them.
The gift (curse?) of knowledge
If you give a kid a chemistry kit, they’ll grow up to be a scientist with whom I can engage in internet arguments.
Apex predators need snuggles, too
Remember when I said, "give a child a dinosaur toy, and the kid will love it?" Well...what are you waiting for?! I’m buying three right now with my Dino-opoly money.